“The trunk is the foundation of your marriage, and all the fruits are borne from it.”
It was as though a lifetime flashed before me in three weeks. It is incredible how reflection matures the self. What honest conversation can bring to two people. A relationship brings two people together, to experience humanity, to grow, to become better people. Shoaib’s insight and patience helped me see into myself. I see a capacity for change I never saw before. In him and myself.
There was excitement and nervousness on the day we married. Then when we returned to Kabul, returning to the room, clearing it out, and then cuddling close to him as the night wintered away – I felt a calming wedded bliss. To many we just met and quickly married. But to us, we took the time we needed! There was a future we wanted, and over nights of conversations, carefully pieced our picture together. A piece of trust. A piece of respect. A piece of love. We healed together from past hurts and he held all my little regrets in his big heart. Our love grew over a time infinite to us.
Tagore reads:
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
~~~
The butterfly counts not months but moments,
and has time enough.
~
I rolled in on an intuition I never persuaded myself to trust. Then those seemingly urgent decisions have happened to be some of the best in my life. The cause that calls, sometimes without reason. When one feels compellingly drawn, though not forced. I don’t know when my intuition works. It comes without making an event. I only infer in retrospect when the decisions made contradict my usual rational stubborn self. I did sometimes doubt my decision to get married at 23. We talked about it days before the wedding too. But when I close my eyes and think of the ordinary day: Welcoming him home after work. Sharing the books I read. Watching him fall asleep. Dancing in front of the mirror. He will walk with me and astound me with what his child-like eyes see. And all of this is worth living for.
We see our conflicts as opportunities to grow and to love each other better. We take this life a step at a time. This is the sturdy tree we call marriage, and each smile he brings to me is a fruit born.
And there he is, here again and again.
My Masi Arfat and I talked before the nikah. She said “He is a jewel of a man. Accept him for who he is.” It is in this acceptance that nurtures a great friendship. The butterfly spreads its wings. And the rainbow finds its way back to its source.
Love,
Natasha xx
