I couldn’t do that in Kabul working for the big aid agencies, Razia Jan

Excerpt from news-piece on Razia’s work for Zabuli Girls School

Her efforts have focused on individuals, her philosophy grounded in a basic truth: countries are comprised of communities, communities of individual people; to help a country recover from disaster, you start with individuals.

Her school, for example, is one of the few in Afghanistan where girls from poor backgrounds can receive a modern education without the burden of tuition fees. It serves the truly marginalised: girls in Afghanistan’s rural hinterland where access to education remains a distant dream for most.

“I wanted to touch those girls,” she explains, “the ones caught in a culture of slavery, where young girls are sold into marriage and condemned to a life of serving their new masters. I couldn’t do that in Kabul working for the big aid agencies.”

But working in Afghanistan’s rural communities comes with some serious risks. Jan recounts one incident, just days before the school opened in 2008:

“I was inside the school cleaning, getting things ready for the opening,” she says. “I was so dirty and dusty and tired. Then one of my workers told me there were four men waiting to speak to me outside. I went out to them, so tired that I even forgot to cover my head, and there they were, these immaculately dressed men standing there. Compared to them I looked like a street urchin. They told me they had a concern: ‘We are from this area and we appreciate what you have done in getting this school built,’ one of them said. ‘But we want to tell you that you still have one last chance to turn this into a boys’ school. Boys are the backbone of Afghanistan.’

“I looked him right in the eyes and I said: ‘I’m sorry brother, but you know, girls are the eyesight of Afghanistan and unfortunately you are all blind.’ They were so shocked they couldn’t speak; they just turned around and walked away. And I’ve never seen them again.”

Since then, the community has come to embrace the school, though occasionally they still pester Jan to offer boys education as well. She refuses. “I tell them I don’t want boys in the school because they break things,” she says, laughing with girlish delight. “If they break a desk, I can’t afford to replace it.”

The sturdy tree called marriage

“The trunk is the foundation of your marriage, and all the fruits are borne from it.”

It was as though a lifetime flashed before me in three weeks. It is incredible how reflection matures the self. What honest conversation can bring to two people. A relationship brings two people together, to experience humanity, to grow, to become better people. Shoaib’s insight and patience helped me see into myself. I see a capacity for change I never saw before. In him and myself.

There was excitement and nervousness on the day we married. Then when we returned to Kabul, returning to the room, clearing it out, and then cuddling close to him as the night wintered away – I felt a calming wedded bliss. To many we just met and quickly married. But to us, we took the time we needed! There was a future we wanted, and over nights of conversations, carefully pieced our picture together. A piece of trust. A piece of respect. A piece of love. We healed together from past hurts and he held all my little regrets in his big heart. Our love grew over a time infinite to us.

Tagore reads:

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time

like dew on the tip of a leaf.

~~~

The butterfly counts not months but moments,

and has time enough.

~

I rolled in on an intuition I never persuaded myself to trust. Then those seemingly urgent decisions have happened to be some of the best in my life. The cause that calls, sometimes without reason. When one feels compellingly drawn, though not forced. I don’t know when my intuition works. It comes without making an event. I only infer in retrospect when the decisions made contradict my usual rational stubborn self. I did sometimes doubt my decision to get married at 23. We talked about it days before the wedding too. But when I close my eyes and think of the ordinary day: Welcoming him home after work. Sharing the books I read. Watching him fall asleep. Dancing in front of the mirror. He will walk with me and astound me with what his child-like eyes see. And all of this is worth living for.

We see our conflicts as opportunities to grow and to love each other better. We take this life a step at a time. This is the sturdy tree we call marriage, and each smile he brings to me is a fruit born.

And there he is, here again and again.

My Masi Arfat and I talked before the nikah. She said “He is a jewel of a man. Accept him for who he is.” It is in this acceptance that nurtures a great friendship. The butterfly spreads its wings. And the rainbow finds its way back to its source.

Love,

Natasha xx

 

Rainbow and Butterflies, Singapore Edition (Feb 20 2012)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.