Category Archives: Dance

Laughing Backwards, Malady and the Life of Art

Posted on by

I am laughing backwards to swallow meaningless words, with a sense of humour. On my knees I am asking questions. I am searching for possibilities that a man has bitten an apple without renouncing paradise.

~~

It is a common malady to see the composure of a refined soul break at the crack of a soft poem.

It is the fatal leap of a dancer who bends herself back to fly as a feather.

The poem recites through the perfect clash of instruments, and the feather buoyant, is time standing still in slow motion.

That moment is the malady, when a lady is no more a lady, but an open soul, mal-.

Then she is triumphant, like the ending of a Ghalib poem.

(In Urdu poetry, often the author addresses himself by his name to make a point of something, the closing line is often powerful. Ghalib also means triumphant)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


There is an Islamic Sufi poem written by Rumi to Shams of Tabriz. The last line beautifully reads:

I have known pigeons who fly in a nowhere,
and birds that eat grainlessness,

And a tailor who sewed beautiful clothes
by tearing them to pieces

The body, with nature in nature, – is a beautiful story. I don’t want to perish one day and later discover when God played a reel of my life that he discovered I had spent less than a millionth of my life amongst nature’s beauty. Truly I find myself torn between my wanderlust (irresponsibility, free-thinking and idleness) and my ambitious career plans and charity projects. I once contemplated being a nomad. I still do. I know how to and can live in discomfort and yet build a palace out of it.

The Life of Art [I wrote this in Afghanistan]

My teacher said once to me ‘A life in Art is always a push and pull’ and that at some point I will have to discover a harmony between the two. Ying and Yang is not so much about balance as it is about two absolute opposite forces operating simultaneously. One has to be an artist; i.e creative enough to find a possibility that allows a life of art (of passion, of aesthetics, of romance) without necessarily being an ascetic in that field. I had thought once to give up dance. A dancer has no place in Allah’s world (Afghanistan), even though the Muslim Sufi Afghan poets once danced to worship him. But it is possible to dance, to write, to work for gender solidarity, to love children and to always be in love. I ask for no more.

Interview: Dancing, an interpretive process

Posted on by

See new interview with online fashion and art magazine on south asian culture, CLICK HERE. Interview also pasted below.

Do you always read poetry for dance?

No. I love words and I love reading how authors experiment with them in order to evoke something artistic. I think I’m a storyteller. I think I sometimes don’t have the vocabulary or the courage to describe life with words. And I think to do so is important. So my habit in reading tends to be a search for my own narratives of life; found somewhere between the words of these authors.

I also love to share these poems with others. The problem with the Urdu language in poetry, unlike perhaps Spanish poetry, in that its English translation lack the resonances and nuances necessary to understand lyrical and silent emotion. I feel that the English translations fail to translate the silences present in Urdu poetry; and the very fact of their silences make it quite difficult for the English language to substitute it with words, without eventually adding more to it —– I use the word “silences” because I think Urdu was meant for the ear and not the eye. There is a lot in the culture of India and Pakistan that is communicated orally through language. So in this oral communication the silences are recognizable to the hearing ear, but invisible in texts, to the eye.

How accurate are your dances to the lyrics of a song?

It depends on what song and my consciousness during its performance. I think, however, I have never ever in my life lived up to a song. Sometimes I think it is impossible for an amateur to capture the nuances in vocals, the mixture of musical instruments and rhythm all at the same time.

That aside, any translation of a piece in dance divorces the piece from its former existence. Hermeneutics, which is a discipline in the method and theory of interpretation, is a subject that fascinates me. From this I understand that from my reading (dancing) of text, I am making certain choices about what a word or sentence means to me. I also make certain choices about how to articulate them through dance. So as I work with a text, I am myself giving it a life of its own. Thus it has an independent yet derivative existence. So to answer your question, my dances seek accuracy yet performs inaccurately. It is accurate and inaccurate. Continue reading →

A Dance Rendition Video

Posted on by

I cannot type because of severe tendonitis. I cannot eat with my hands as well. Its awfully painful. Brush teeth, wash hair, hold plates, hold phone. All pains. I have not worked for a whole week and have to remove myself from the computer (less I work). My therapy has always been to dance because I wave my finger joints and stretch my tendons in positions that break the claw pose (when my hands are on the computer.) So this week I have spent all my afternoons at the bookshop and all my nights dancing, to keep myself from checking and answering work emails. It has been a good week :)

This is all I can type for today. The last two posts left me crying at night for mama to massage my hands.

I leave you this dance video for all my readers who keep asking. I thank you for being part of my growth.

This video contrasts two different kinds of dance. I dislike and not good in choreography. Both were done impromptu: The first one is more focussed on the spins. But it is lyrical, gentle, floating, – it is smooth like the vocal terrain. The second one is more performative. Demonstrative, sharp, strong in movements and its mess (thrashing about, erratic), lends to the heady combination of music altogether (el ritmo de flamenco, harmonium, sharp, fast strums).

mere haath mein tera haath ho

When My hands are in your hands.

Saari jannatein mere saath ho

Then all of paradise is with me.

Tu jo paas ho phir kya yeh jahaan

When you’re with me, what use have I for the world?

Tere pyaar mein ho jaayuun fanaa

In your love, I annihilate myself.

The way the violin slices the soul

Posted on by

When I am passionate about something, I am obsessed with it. The last two nights I spent my lines working through Urdu poems, listening to how my fingers invite music to dance. Orange finger-tips define better for my eyes, how this music moves me. Sometimes I sit cross-legged, restrict my limbs, and free my fingers to dance. These digits expose more subtle aspects of a music; the way the violin slices the soul, or notes dribble from passionate mouths, screams and saliva spattering, or how the harmonium abbreviate chords; compress the fragile heart, guitar-plucks tug at heart-strings, harmonica with its replicated notes and forced resonance, how not to surrender?

I listened to a 30s violin piece and I cried. I was so moved.

Listen to 2mins on this video.

I am flying already

Posted on by

Anonymous, why give your blessings in secret? Why reign, and hold me prisoner to your deafening silence? I played tunes on the harmonica, and rats ran with me**. The patter of their barefeet, their scatter…. sounded like worshippers in a temple. There is no difference between the angry atheist and devout believer. Both spend as much time thinking about God.

Deserving better than clandestine, unlisted expressions of love, through music. Fingers will dance when body is not well. Fingers can give birth to flowers. Tips like orange petals. Or fly like a bird. Why don’t we set ourselves free…. I am flying already.

Nahii aaye kesariyaa balamaa hamaar.

But he did not come, my dark handsome lover

a.nganaa  baDaa sunasaan

Leaving my courtyard deserted

– Gulzar Sahab

Love,

The Humming Bird.

** This is in reference to a German story from the Middle Ages, 16th C, of Pied Piper of Hamelin, who could play his magic pipe and lure rats with his music. It was agreed that the people of Hamelin would pay him for removing the rats. However they did not pay him for his services. So he retaliated by luring all the children out of Hamelin. Thus the phrase ‘to pay the piper’, meaning to bear the consequences of your actions.

Pied Piper of Hamelin has always been casted negatively in all renditions of this fable through history.

My use of this fable is intrinsically linked to the following sentence, “patter of their barefeet sounded like worshippers at the temple“

Continue reading →